based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
