After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
