He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
