OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
