if you like me you must not know who I am
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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