So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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