one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
