I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
