Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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