I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Everyone says I win the strip club
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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