Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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