why didn't you poke me back
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
