So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
