I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We have so much sex to catch up on
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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