he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
