He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
