i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
