I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
