I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
