Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
