Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
