Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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