you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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