bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
