You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
