I hate your face
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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