and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
