If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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