dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
