I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
