Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
