New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I love having hate sex.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
