Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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