I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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