you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
