OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
