escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Sober January is a disaster.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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