i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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