That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
