trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
