we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
