Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize