she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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