Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
