She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
