Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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