yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
