I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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