She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize