I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
