What did we do last night that was yellow?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
