Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize