I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
