Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
