Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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