you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
