he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
