she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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