hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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