Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
