So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
